Homemaker

My husband and I went to the passport office to renew our passports for possible future travel.  We took our photos, filled out the forms, and went to talk to the passport agent about next steps.  He looks over the forms and asked us a few questions one of which being my occupation. You see, on the renewal form there was a box where you were supposed to write in “Occupation” and “Employer”.  I didn’t give this a second thought when filling out the form and wrote Attorney and left the Employer portion blank. Here’s the thing, I am an Attorney and when anyone asks me what my occupation is or job is in person I usually say, “I am an Attorney but I am not currently practicing and I stay home with my kids”.  Problem is, I couldn’t fit that all in the few boxes I had. So I wrote “Attorney” and moved on. I explained such to the passport officer and he said “You need to write ‘Homemaker’ in the box then because they will want to know your employer if you write ‘Attorney’.” He was annoyed at me and seemed to think I was an idiot for not doing so in the first place!

I was a little bit shocked and didn’t speak for a few seconds.  Embarrassed I grabbed my pen and crossed out “Attorney” and wrote in “Homemaker” in the boxes provided and threw the form back at him.  He then continued on going through all the forms and steps. This bothered me for days! I don’t know why this occurrence really triggered anything because I don’t know this person and he really was just trying to do his job, but it really bugged me.

After thinking about it for a few days, among other things  I think my pride was hurt. Somehow it didn’t matter if I was a lawyer or used to be a lawyer.  I am not being paid to be a lawyer or practicing law anymore, so therefore my new title is “Homemaker.”  I think just hearing that title and writing it down like that just felt awkward to me. But in all honesty, I am okay with what it means.  If you look up the word homemaker, the dictionary says “someone who manages a home and family instead of earning money from employment.” Well look at that, it’s totally true, I am a homemaker!  And I like being a homemaker. I just don’t like what I think the negative connotation of that word is.  I feel like it makes me seem useless or something, purposeless. But on a day to day basis I am laser focused on my job and tasks at hand and don’t stop to think about it much.

I plan on writing more about being a Stay-At-Home mom and my thoughts on that in coming entries but I wanted to open up about this humbling experience. As much as I wish I was the type of person who didn’t care what people think (even random strangers), I am absolutely the type of person who cares a lot about what others think.  Starting this blog is a huge exercise for me in focusing on what I want, what makes me happy, what feels natural to me, and turning a blind eye to everyone else. Oh this scares me!