Routines, Habits, and Anxiety

It is the last day of Winter Break and I sit here with mixed emotions.  We had a really full holiday season and we were able to pack in a lot of time with family and friends and get some down time just the 4 of us at home.  I know come this evening, we will begin the rituals that need to happen to get the kids ready for bed early, prepare things for the morning, and then set our alarms to make sure we get started on the right foot in the morning.

I woke up today in a horrible mood.  I felt so anxious about it being the last day of “vacation” and felt sad it was over and stress over the schedule of the week that lies before us.  Don’t get me wrong, I really like routine. In fact a week ago I was looking forward to the start of school and getting back in to the swing of things.  But now that we are on the eve, I just dread it.

I like habits and routines.  And I tend to stick to them once they are set.  During break I fell off the wagon and woke up much later than usual, didn’t meal prep, we ate out more, and didn’t do things on a schedule and some days I felt so out of it because I didn’t know what we were doing or what we would do next.  There was ease to it since I wasn’t always the one deciding everything and it was actually kind of relaxing. So 2 weeks of that and now I am faced with needing to get back to my routine to make sure everyone gets to where they need to be on time.

I am a stickler when it comes to my checklist and what needs to happen.  That’s good most of the time because I can finish my day and know I was productive.  But I realize that this can be burdensome, stressful, and it makes me very inflexible at times.  I think that’s why I get anxious thinking about going back to our regular routine. Knowing that things need to be done at a certain time.  But some of it is also mental. And I add a ton of things that do not have to be done, because I have higher expectations than I should.

I notice it in my kids too.  They say kids thrive on schedules and knowing what to expect.  And I believe this and that’s why I have them on a schedule. But I can see that when they are with other kids they can be less flexible because they are so so used to how we do things.  I think I may be leading by example with some negative effects.

I want to have good habits and routines in place for myself and my family so we can all work together like a well-oiled machine.  But I also want us to be able to be flexible and change plans as needed when different things get thrown our way, we decide we want to change it up, or we are doing something with other people who just do things differently.

I love spending time with different families and talking to others to see how they run things.  It’s interesting to see what works for others. It seems that every family and essentially every person has their own set of habits and routines.  Some are just more strict and/or involved than others. I may be on the more intense end of it. It works for me and for us. But I do want to loosen the ties a bit and try to be more flexible and go with the flow, especially with the kids and when it involves other people.  But also on myself. Because with strict habits and routines comes great disappointment and the feeling of letting myself down if I don’t abide by the guidelines I set for myself. Food for thought!