Let's talk dirty.

So this is a story that I honestly would never think I would be telling.  Kids do and say the darndest things, for sure. And they definitely surprise you and keep you on your toes.  This particular incident had me in shock for days. I had to really digest it before I could write about it and share it with people.  I hope if anything you all will find it funny.

I am a bit of a micromanager when it comes to my kids, and maybe all things.  I have a schedule set up for the kids each day. One of the most predictable times of day is bath time.  When they were younger I would bathe my kids together in our master tub because it was easier that way. Now that my son is older (he’s 7) we still have the same bath time but my son takes a shower in the master bathroom and I give my daughter a bath in the tub right next to the shower.  Up until about a year ago I would still help my son shower. I would help soap him up and he would rinse off. Then I started letting him do it himself and he proved to be capable (or so I thought). I would bathe my daughter in the tub and then tell my son to lather his head and then shout out the body parts to make sure he was clean and he would hollar that he got all the spots.  We stopped doing this after a month or so because it was clear he knew how to do it, and we both got tired of it.

As I was saying my kids all shower and bathe in our master bedroom because there’s more room and right now it works out best for us.  That means my husband and I use the same shower my son does. I was noticing last week that my daughter had emptied a huge bottle of 3 in 1 soap but my son hadn’t asked me for a new bottle in awhile (he uses the same 3 in 1 soap and usually goes through it so fast because he uses a lot of soap and plays with it in the shower as well).  I remembered to check the soap bottle on one particular day to see how much was left in case I needed to get him a new one, and it was basically full. How could that be? I had given him this soap bottle long ago and my daughter had already finished hers and they take the same amount of baths. I chalked it up to my memory or that my husband had replaced it for my son and I just didn’t know about it.

The next day when my son was showering and I was bathing my daughter I looked over at my son who was just standing in the water.  We had gotten to the point where I wouldn’t even look over at him anymore because he had been showering on his own for so long so I would focus on getting my daughter bathed quick so we could be done.  I asked my son what he was doing and told him to get soaped up. Then I casually asked him why his soap bottle was so full when his sister had emptied hers and if he had been remembering to clean himself with soap.  My usually very talkative son was quiet. Then I got nervous. I asked him again if he had been using the soap during his showers. He slowly said that he did most of the time for his head. After further prodding he said that he wasn’t using the soap at all most days because he liked to play in the shower and would get distracted and forgot or couldn’t be troubled with it.  I asked him how long this has been going on and he said “about a week.” My son has no real concept of time so a week could have been 2 weeks, a month, who knows. All I know is that I stopped checking in on him during his showers awhile ago.

I was absolutely mortified and mad.  Mad at him for not doing what he was supposed to but mad at myself for not just checking with him during his showers to make sure he was doing it right.  These types of things leave me so puzzled. I want to give my children independence and opportunities to make choices and do things for themselves as they get older.  But I also want to do what I can to guide them and prevent them from making mistakes.

Since that day I have been giving him reminders about his showers and he really gets annoyed.  He doesn’t want to be reminded by me because he is a big boy. But I can’t help myself now. Forgetting or choosing not to do the simple things makes me nervous he will skip the big things too.  Eventually we will get back to the point where I will stop saying anything and he will do as he chooses. I sure hope he decides soap is a friend not foe!