Small Talk Can Make a Difference

I love small talk!  Is that weird? It seems like some people think small talk is annoying and just a waste of time.  I think it’s partly because I like to talk and also because I am so nosy and interested in the details about people’s lives that I find it so interesting.  I like to chat up my neighbors, parents at school, teachers, and people I don’t know well that I see frequently in passing. What do I talk about? Just whatever comes up.  The weather, random happenings, I like to ask people what’s going on with them and their families. If I don’t know them I want to know where they live, if they are from the area, what their hobbies are.  It’s so fun! If I see them again I try to remember these things and ask them about it.

I tend to remember people’s faces and details that they have told me even if I haven’t seen them for awhile.  But the issue is I don’t ever remember people’s names. It’s very embarrassing. You think that would stop me from saying something to someone I recognize at the store, but it doesn’t.  And surprisingly sometimes they don’t remember my name either (understandable because my name is not normal).

My husband thinks I go a little too far with my chattiness.  Sometimes I will be calling customer service for something and be on the phone with an agent and start talking to the person about where they live, about their kids, what their current weather is, and all this stuff and my husband will give me the *sign that I should get a move on and ask them my question and stop wasting time!  It is kind of silly when I think about it because I will literally try to talk to anyone that will talk back to me. People are just so interesting and more often than not seem to want to be talked to too.

I find it so refreshing when people I don’t know well ask me questions about myself, my background, and my family.  So I try to do the same when I meet someone or run in to someone I know. You never know what kind of day the person is having and if for example the person working at the store has had the worst day ever (try being super friendly to the Target check out person when you’re shopping over the holidays instead of grabbing your bags and jetting out) and just needs to feel like a human instead of a robot.  

I once was at Target grabbing some stuff and the check out person was really visibly upset and basically crying.  I thought maybe the lady in front of me was giving her a hard time so when it was my turn I asked if she was okay.  The check out person told me that someone she knew, a friend, just passed away and that the customer ahead of me was a total jerk to her.  I looked at her in the eye and told her I am so sorry for her loss and that I am sorry about what had happened with the customer. And asked if I could do anything for her?  Obviously I couldn’t do anything to help her but in that particular moment I felt like I had to say something. I didn’t know this person and she had just shared something so personal, I couldn’t just grab my bags and go.  She dried her eyes and thanked me and I gave her as comforting of a look as I could before I left. It really wasn’t much of an interaction but I felt so bad and so sad for that check out person. She was just a young girl who found out horrible news and was not able to focus on work at the moment and she ran across a customer who was in a hurry and not being very patient with her.  

Things like that make me really try to slow down and think about my interactions with people.  People that I know and love but also people I don’t know at all and may only meet for a brief moment just once in my life.  You never know if just one thing you say or do can make a difference.