Handling Kids with Kid Gloves

I was the mom who always put those tiny infant mittens on my babies.  I bought them before my babies were born and proceeded to buy many more once they were born to make sure I had plenty of backups if we lost some or had to wash them.  It’s funny in my own baby pictures I am wearing similar baby mittens, albeit maybe a little old-fashioned, but really the same trusty infant gloves my parents put on me, that I chose to buy for my babies to protect them from scratching their little faces with their sharp tiny nails.  I don’t think I checked any baby supply list or got a recommendation for these gloves, it was just in my head that those were “must haves” as far as baby items go.

When my daughter was born almost 4 years ago, my brother and sister-in-law came to visit the baby.  My brother-in-law, visiting from Germany, thought the baby mittens were the strangest things. He asked what they were and why on earth we were using them, even after my sister-and-law and I explained to him that they are to protect babies from scratching their faces.  He said he had never seen gloves like that before and did not understand the point of using them. I chalked it up to cultural differences and didn’t think about it again. Until I was listening to a podcast recently where the speaker had said her friend, a pediatrician, told her that it bothered her so much when people used baby mittens.  She said whenever she saw parents using them she told the parents to get rid of the little gloves right away and that the whole point is to let the babies scratch themselves so that they learn not to scratch themselves. And if you wrap their hands up so they don’t know the effects of what they are doing, they won’t later know that they shouldn’t scratch their faces.

I know I am not alone in thinking that babies are babies and they are tiny and defenseless.  When they are born we want to protect them from any discomfort or pain and if that means baby gloves, then we buy 20 pairs of baby gloves and make sure the baby has them on whenever he or she is awake.  But being out of the baby stage now for a few years I wonder if this pre-protection mentality has bled into other aspects of my parenting. Actually I don’t wonder so much as I know that it does. If I foresee that an action, circumstances, or situation that my child could be put in may cause discomfort, pain, or adverse reaction, I do my best to set things up so that it won’t happen.  I put pants on my kids if I think they’re going to possibly skin their knees on their bikes or scooters, I cover my kids head to toe when it’s raining outside so they don’t have to wear wet clothes, I cool off all their food before I call them to eat so they don’t have to blow their hot food when they’re hungry, and I jump in if I see my kids fighting or if they have any issues with friends while on a playdate.  Call it helicoptering parenting, call it whatever you want, it’s my instinct as a parent to jump in and do these things. But I realize that by doing this I could be shielding my kids from short-term discomfort but also inhibiting their long-term growth. I hope to be more mindful of this and take a few steps back to let my kids have the learning experiences that will make them more resourceful and better able to cope with their adult lives.  I forget sometimes I am not raising children, I am raising human beings.