Watch Your Tone

Something we have been focusing on as a family is watching our tone.  As adults I think we have a really firm grasp of how important tone is when we are speaking to someone (and also writing to someone).  It has been my experience that kids often are oblivious to tone, or at least their own tone. I know my kids can tell by my tone right away if I am happy, sad, upset, angry, excited, tired, calm, stressed, etc by the way I am talking to them.  Even my little one knows if mommy is rushed or upset and she will come give me a hug or she laughs if I am being silly. My son can tell by my tone if I am getting impatient and he catches on to sarcasm (he really dislikes sarcasm). But when it comes to how they are coming across, I think sometimes kids don’t get it!

We have been trying to mention it to the kids and catch them to correct their tone.  We try to have them repeat what they said, and then we will parrot it back to them, we ask if they notice how the tone sounds and if they meant it that way, and then we ask them to try to change their tone or we will change ours to show them the difference.  Tone is so nuanced and even as adults we forget to modify our tone if we are not careful especially if we aren’t particularly feeling good at the moment. It all goes along with being mindful of what you say and how you say it. The way your tone sounds when you are speaking to a person/people can really affect how they receive your message and how they feel.