Digging in My Heels
The phrase “digging in my heels” is used often to describe when someone refuses to let up, and more often than not it has a negative connotation. When I google it the definition says “To cling stubbornly to one's beliefs, position, or wishes.” I have been pondering this little phrase since I had a conversation with someone recently and she mentioned that when she digs her heels in too much, things backfire, hence she tries to be more flexible. I liked what she said and it made sense to me. But it also made me laugh to myself because I am pretty good at digging in my heels.
It is hard for me to start something or plan for something without making a resolute goal, game plan, or plan of action. I try not to announce this grand scheme to the world, because I am afraid of failure and embarrassment; but I make it very clear to myself what the rules are, what we are aiming to achieve, and then plow forward. It is the opposite of being flexible or malleable. But it’s so hard for me to work towards something if I don’t have an “attack plan.” I realize that when you are doing something new, embarking on something uncharted, it isn’t fair to yourself to set expectations that I don’t know are even achievable, but that is how I always default to get something done.
I don’t think my way is the right way, but I know that’s how I always end up doing things. I really respect my friend for her candor and her ability to say that she was happy with her current situation but that she was open to re-evaluating things in the future and altering the course if necessary. That seems like a really good, healthy approach. It’s just not how I instinctually react to different aspects of life. If I promise myself that I am going to do something in a certain way, I dig my heels pretty deep, and I feel a great sense of shame if I have to abandon my plans for something else. Seems silly doesn’t it? Life is the greatest set of twists and turns, there is no one size fits all. I am thankful for this reminder and will work on catching myself before I dig my heels in too deep. Besides if I keep my feet on the surface, I am bound to move faster and farther, right?