Separate But Equal

The time has come to sign our 3-year-old daughter up to start preschool this coming Fall.  She will be 3 years and 8 months old when she starts, born in December she will be one of the older kids in her class.  Our 7-year-old son is one of the youngest in his class, he was born in August. Our son started preschool right after he turned 2 years old and was potty-trained.  Our daughter only recently became potty-trained.

Our son had a really good experience with preschool.  He didn’t have a sibling until he was 4 so the interaction with other children was invaluable.  He learned the basics in reading, writing, math, along with art and social skills. His school had farm animals and reptiles which he loved.  The teachers were loving and nurturing. We were so happy with that preschool that when I was pregnant we were sure our daughter would go to the same school.

Then we changed our minds.  Our son goes to elementary school across the street from our home.  As I mentioned before in a prior post, I walk him back and forth every single day. The preschool we so love is across town about 20 minutes away, and would start an hour and a half after my son starts school and would be 3 hours.  This would give me 2 hours to do whatever I needed to do before I headed back for pickup. To say that the schedule, time constraints, and drive isn’t a huge part of our decision not to have our daughter go to that school would be a lie.  It’s kind of a big deal and a huge consideration.

So where is my daughter going to go to preschool?  She is going to go to preschool at my neighbor’s house next door.  Yes, next door. When we bought our home we had no idea that there was an in-home preschool next door.  And we didn’t know that many families in the community were on the waitlist to start. I put my daughter on the waitlist when we moved in when she was a few months old just to have the option, thinking we would still have her go to my son’s preschool.  My neighbor, the preschool teacher is a wonderful person, very warm and kind. I trust her and have gotten to know her over the years I have lived here. I have seen the children at school and have observed the school, and have seen first hand what a fun and positive environment it is for the kids.  

Why did we decide to have our daughter start preschool later than our son?  Our daughter will essentially be starting preschool almost 2 years after our son.  Our son as I mentioned before didn’t have a sibling when he was 2 and we wanted him to be able to socialize with other kids and we thought it would be fun for him to be in school (and it really was).  Our daughter was born in to kid-world with automatic friends. She was going to preschool and kindergarten drop off and pick up as a baby. She started going to all of her brother’s playdates and birthday parties as a baby and seemed to just always be surrounded by kids.  So the socialization wasn’t an issue. I also selfishly wanted to have some alone time with my daughter while my son was in school. Having spent so much time with my son before our daughter was born I wanted to try to give some extra attention to our daughter before she started school because she is always having to share time and attention with her brother.

All in all this decision makes sense for us and feels like the right thing to do.  I do feel a little guilty taking the easier way out for myself but I also want to conserve some of my own energy so that the kids get a happier mom and not a rushy-frantic mom who is always scrambling to get them places or pick them up.  I want to be fair and give each child “the same” thing but at the same time they are different people and situations and circumstances change over time. I don’t know if we could ever give both kids “the same” exact experience and probably shouldn’t struggle to do so.