Ode to My Potato Masher

It wasn’t until recently that a friend of mine brought to my attention how much I utilize my potato masher in my cooking.  She had asked me for a few recipes, none of which involved mashing potatoes, and in each recipe I used a potato masher. I didn’t think that was unusual because it’s just something that I do.  But I thought I would share all the ways that I use my potato masher in case someone else wants to try it out. I love all-in-one tools, especially in the kitchen. It means less work and less washing, who doesn’t love that?  Here are ways I use my potato masher:

1. Mashing bananas for banana bread, and, in fact, I use it to stir in all the other ingredients in my banana bread (no whisk or spatula needed).

2. Making ground meat for tacos, spaghetti, etc.  When I make large batches of ground beef or turkey it’s so much easier to use a potato masher to get the meat really minced and it’s neater than a spatula.

3. Cooking hamburger patties.  I am in the “flatten meat patties” school when it comes to hamburgers.  I like my patties thin and flat so I use my potato masher when I am cooking them on the skillet.  Keeps them thin and even.

4. Mashed potatoes (sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes).

5. Mashing veggies for my soups.  I like making instant pot soups such as broccoli soup, corn chowder, and potato, sausage, and kale soup.  I like the texture where the vegetables are slightly mashed and chunky so I use the masher to mash the soup before serving.  It’s chunkier than using an immersion blender and faster.

6. Making doughs, batters, and mixing flours.  I find that I can work with heavier doughs and batters easier with the potato masher.  I can really get in there and work the dough without as much effort. Even making pastries like biscuits or scones can be made with a potato masher.

7. Guacamole and avocado toast.  The potato masher can turn avocados in to mash in a few seconds flat, much faster than a fork.

8. Making breadcrumbs or cookie crumbs.  I put the cookies or toast in a bag and use the potato masher to turn them in to crumbs.

The potato masher is one of my trusty tools that I use almost daily.  It’s fast, simple, and easy to clean!

What’s in my car?

I used to love watching those YouTube videos where people would show what was in their bag.  It was so interesting to me the items that a person would choose to keep on them at all times in their bag.  I thought it would be fun to tell you all what I keep in my car. Because my car is, a much larger, extension of my bag.  Somewhere along the way I have decided that my car (a minivan) is my carry-all, catch-all compartment for which I will keep all my supplies, essentials, and “emergency items” for myself and my family.  What has resulted is that my car has a lot of stuff that may or may not be “essential.” So what’s in there you ask?

• Basic car manuals, insurance, licensing, registration paperwork and tire gage in my glove compartment.

• I have a middle compartment between the two front seats where I keep all sorts of goodies. I have plastic containers that I keep gift cards, tickets for various activities and attractions that we frequent, coupons, first aid kit/supplies, tissue, hand lotion, sunscreen, chapstick, chargers for electronics, baby wipes, pen/pencil/stationery, hair supplies for my daughter, sunglasses for the family, and extra change. 

• In the backseat where the kids are I keep wet wipes, tissue, extra bottles of water, hats for everyone, and a box that I store extra handheld toys and books for the kids to look at during drives.

• In the trunk there is an extra set of clothes or 2 for each child, extra jackets for every member of the family, a towel, paper towels, water bottles, sand toys/playground toys, picnic blanket, reusable supermarket bags, more sunscreen, and extra flip flops for the kids.

If you’re thinking boy her car sounds like a mess, most of the time it is!  And somehow we still manage to get to places only to realize I forgot something at home.  But there have been plenty of times where we have been able to get back to the car and find just what we, or someone we are with, needs.  And whenever we have long outings I discover new things that I can stash in my car as “extra supplies.”

Watch Your Tone

Something we have been focusing on as a family is watching our tone.  As adults I think we have a really firm grasp of how important tone is when we are speaking to someone (and also writing to someone).  It has been my experience that kids often are oblivious to tone, or at least their own tone. I know my kids can tell by my tone right away if I am happy, sad, upset, angry, excited, tired, calm, stressed, etc by the way I am talking to them.  Even my little one knows if mommy is rushed or upset and she will come give me a hug or she laughs if I am being silly. My son can tell by my tone if I am getting impatient and he catches on to sarcasm (he really dislikes sarcasm). But when it comes to how they are coming across, I think sometimes kids don’t get it!

We have been trying to mention it to the kids and catch them to correct their tone.  We try to have them repeat what they said, and then we will parrot it back to them, we ask if they notice how the tone sounds and if they meant it that way, and then we ask them to try to change their tone or we will change ours to show them the difference.  Tone is so nuanced and even as adults we forget to modify our tone if we are not careful especially if we aren’t particularly feeling good at the moment. It all goes along with being mindful of what you say and how you say it. The way your tone sounds when you are speaking to a person/people can really affect how they receive your message and how they feel.

My Color Palette (or Lack thereof)

As much as I love neutrals and appreciate a very basic color palette I have realized that I cannot restrict myself to just a few colors when it comes to clothing for myself or my family.  I love the look and idea of having a color palette and a simple, minimalist capsule wardrobe like those Instagram Influencers who show 10 pieces of clothing that they can magically turn in to 100 fabulous outfits.  I have friends that dress so beautifully in all basics and they look so elegant and it always makes me wish that I could do the same. I have friends who dress their children in the most gorgeous outfits that are simple and muted in color.  But for some reason when I go to purchase clothing pieces for myself and my family I am drawn to colors, prints, and florals. I do buy basic, solid, monochromatic pieces from time to time. But I don’t get excited over them. And I find that if I am wearing something that is not colorful or is too solid, I don’t feel very energized that day.  My kids love colors and wearing colors and embrace the random colorful pieces of clothing I buy for them. We all certainly don’t look anything like the ads you see online, but I just feel more comfortable in colors and seeing colors on myself and my kids. When I was growing up I remember my mom never let me buy anything black or wear anything solid black.  She thought it was far too morbid and serious/adult for a child (or a teenager) to wear. Even now, she really does not like to see me or my sister in clothing that has too much black. So maybe some of my affinity for color comes from that. Coincidentally my husband also loves colors and likes when we all wear colors. So maybe it’s just who we are. We will never be the perfectly coordinating and classy, elegant family wearing timeless outfits, instead we will be the crew that always stands out because we are wearing the loud clashing clothes! I am okay with that.

Taste the Rainbow

I know that as parents we try to teach our kids to eat all the colors of the rainbow to encourage them to eat a wide variety of fruits and vegetables.  But it wasn’t until recently that I realized how much joy it brings me to eat colorful fruits and veggies. I have noticed that my children have strong preferences for certain colors in their fruits and vegetables.  They like red grapes but not green grapes, they like green cabbage but not purple cabbage, they only like orange carrots, they like purple plums with yellow insides, red onions, they like broccoli over cauliflower, they like honeydew but not cantaloupe, the list goes on.  I also have my preferences. I think the fruit or vegetable tastes better if it’s the color that I like. I like green apples with a little red on them, I like green crisp grapes, I love purple cabbage, I like a mix of green and red bell peppers (but I don’t like green bell peppers on their own), I like darker mushrooms, I like red potatoes best, and I prefer zucchini over yellow squash.  I am sure that if I did a blind taste test fruits and vegetables probably do vary in flavor according to what color they are. But I notice that I purchase my fruits and vegetables according to the color that I like more than anything. I think it just makes it more appetizing! But maybe I am just choosy.

In my head, In my head…

I don’t know if it’s just me but ever since I had kids and started spending much more time with kids than other adults, I find myself in my head a lot.  I didn’t even realize that this was not normal until I started hearing podcasters and authors discussing it like it was a bad thing. I have all sorts of thoughts, lists, dialogues, and stories that I tell myself going on in my head constantly.  I have things I worry about, am excited about, things I hope to do, and things I don’t want to do all swirling in my mind. And if I am bothered by something I tell myself stories (as people do) that becomes an internal dialogue to try to rationalize things or make sense of situations that are dramatic, chaotic, or stressful.

I am not sure if being “in your head” is the worst thing.  I think it’s important for us, as human beings, to work out our feelings, our emotions, and our thoughts on our own and let things go through the process before we discuss with other people or confront certain situations.  Of course for me writing is also an outlet, hence this blog, and helps me to brain dump and get some things off my head and chest.

I realize that some people like to talk things out with their friends and family to help work out what they have going on in their heads.  I do this too sometimes. But for me, often before the words come out of my mouth and I am verbalizing my thoughts to someone close to me, I have already sorted out a lot of what I think is going on, how I feel, and what I think the best game plan is.  Very type A. So it’s not that I don’t want to know what another person thinks of my situation, I just prefer to go through the steps by myself first, and try to get to the bottom of things myself before going to another person. There’s no right or wrong way, it’s all how we approach life and what works for each individual.  I actually really enjoy the process of talking through internal thoughts and feelings with another person and helping that person sort through what’s happening inside of themselves and brainstorming ideas and solutions. And I find it refreshing and an honor that someone would trust me with their vulnerabilities, and don’t take that for granted.

Pro Tip: Keep First Aid Supplies Handy

As a mom of young kids and as a person who just likes to be prepared, I know how important and handy it is to have first aid supplies at my disposable at home and when I am out.  I keep a mini first aid kit in my purse and in my car for the occasional bumps, scrapes, and bruises when we are at the park, school, or just out and about. Things happen! I can’t tell you how many times I have pulled out a band-aid for one of my kids or their friends.  And I have found myself plenty of times reaching for a band-aid from my secret stash. Sure we will survive until we get home if we don’t have antiseptic and a band-aid while we are out, but I am so relieved when we can quickly get the boo boo taken care of. I just discovered that there is mini antiseptic spray (no touch) that I just got for my purse for those scrapes when we are out and there’s no bathroom nearby. Score!

At home I have a few first aid kits/supplies throughout the house. I keep a large first aid kit in the kitchen where I keep my medication. That’s the major First Aid hub in our home. But I also have a First Aid Kit upstairs in the master bathroom and in the kids’ bathroom. We have a two-story home so as lazy as it sounds it has saved us a lot of time and effort to grab supplies in the bathroom upstairs rather than running down to the kitchen especially if it’s at night or early in the morning. Just a little tip that might make things a little easier. You never know when you will need it!

The Freezer is a Magical Place

I was chatting with someone recently and we were talking about food storage (riveting I know) and she said “the freezer is a magical place.”  And this made me laugh out loud because it’s really true! I am a freezer person. I have a fridge/freezer combo in my kitchen and one in the garage, yup I am “one of those people.”  I store the usual freezer items in the freezer (frozen desserts, ice, and frozen fruits and veggies) but I also store tons of other things. Almost all of my kids’ breakfast options are in the freezer (pancakes, waffles, pastries, bagels, breakfast breads, muffins, and even prepared eggs).  I keep garlic and chopped onions in the freezer for when I need them for a recipe really quick. I keep raw proteins in the freezer (raw chicken, seafood, ribs, steaks, you name it). Sometimes I will buy extra on sale or I may buy too much one week and don’t end up using it so I throw it in the freezer for another day.  I also have prepared foods that I have cooked in the freezer. I usually make large quantities (at least 2 meals worth sometimes 3 or 4) when I cook and if I know I have made more than 2 meals worth and / or we won’t be able to finish all of the dish, I will freeze it for a meal in the future. I freeze soups and cooked meats for example and these are great for a fast meal when I need to get dinner on the table but don’t have time to cook things from scratch.  Breads are always nice to have on hand in the freezer. I have croissants, raisin bread, texas toast, flatbreads, and tortillas in my freezer. Breads that we don’t often finish within a week but I like to have on hand once in awhile. I have had plenty of people scoff at my freezers full of food because they don’t understand why I have so much in my freezer. I think my freezer is like my security blanket! I like knowing that I have frozen meals and supplies in my freezer in case of “emergency” or in case I just feel like something but don’t want to go to the store.  No one comes between me and my freezers!

Being a “More Experienced” Mom of Littles

Now that my daughter (our youngest) is 4, we have entered in to the realm of school and sports for our preschooler.  This time in our lives seems to mark a pivotal point in my parenting journey to date, from being a “new mom” to a “more experienced mom” of younger children.  I didn’t actually notice this change until recently when I started going to my daughter’s school, taking her to soccer, and meeting more parents of kids in her age group.  With my son, our oldest, he is 8, I was always the “new mom.” For my husband and I, we were always navigating new waters with every stage he entered in to. And now, with my daughter it’s very different.  We “show up” differently (mentally, okay maybe physically too) to events for her and have a different way of approaching things (albeit more slowly and more tiredly). I notice when I talk to parents with kids my daughter's age (and for many of them the 3-4 year old is their oldest child), they will ask me questions about how we did things with my son, what places we went to, and resources that I might know about.  And it’s been interesting for me to realize I actually have some answers! A few years back, I was doing all the asking. I would reach out and ask all the more experienced parents around me how things worked, what they recommended, and where/what I should do for certain things. I still do that now for my son, but it’s much less. I am more comfortable, more confident (maybe), more resourceful (thank you internet, podcasts, and self-help/parenting books), and I suppose just more experienced in raising young children now.  The adolescent/pre-teen/teen years are in the back of my mind though, and this will be a reality check for me, I am sure!

Don’t be alarmed!

Not sure if this is a weird habit or a good tip, but I thought I would share something I do that keeps me both on time and not rushed (or at least less late and not super frazzled).  I set alarms on my phone for all sorts of things. I don’t follow the rule of not having your phone by your bedside (shame on me!) first off, so let’s get that out of the way. I used to just use my phone to set the alarm to wake up in the morning (and snooze).  But now I use my phone (and Alexa and Google Home) to alert me / alarm me of different points in my day. Here are some examples of alarms I have set (and I have them set to repeat daily):

1. Get ready for bedtime (I give myself 20 minutes to stop what I am doing and get myself to bed).  This helps a lot because it’s easy to push my own bedtime out if I am eating snacks, watching an addicting show, or diving in to a good book.  But I always regret it when I do that. So the alarm for bedtime helps me get myself to bed! 

2. Wake up time (I have an earlier time for Monday to Friday and a later time on weekends). I work out in the mornings so this is my wake up call. literally.

3. Get ready for school time (I give myself/kids 15 minutes to get out the door from the time of the alarm.  I have 2 different school schedules so this is especially helpful.)

4. Wake up my daughter from her nap (so we can go pick up my son from school).  I’ll let her sleep at latest until this alarm goes off and then we have about 15 minutes to get out the door.

5. Pick up time from school.  I set alarms 15 to 20 minutes before I need to leave to pick up both of my kids.  This is especially helpful for preschool pick up since my daughter is only at school 2 times a week for 3 hours each time.  I am usually busying myself until the last minute with something so this help me snap out of it.

6. Get ready to go to after-school activities.  I will set our Google Home or Alexa to alert us 20 minutes before we have to leave for a class so that my kids know they need to stop, clean up, go to the bathroom, get dressed, get their equipment, and shoes on so we can leave.

7. Doing chores and tasks. I block schedule my days and setting alarms for each of the tasks that I am working on (research for work, folding laundry, cleaning the kitchen, sending emails, etc) ensures that I can check off all the things on my list. If I know I am allotting a certain amount of time to a task, I will work as efficiently as possible. This can be a stressful and rushy sometimes but if I don’t set alarms I will take a lot longer than necessary, or get distracted.

It is definitely not necessary to use alarms for all of things things. I am sure most people do fine and keep on schedule for basic daily activities by just using a watch or looking at their phone.  But I think it’s just the way I work. It’s easier for me to have these alarms pre-set so I can do what I need to in between different parts of my day and just focus without looking at the clock and feeling like time is controlling me.

Pajama Day Makes Me Cringe!

Like most things, I have formula-ized how I dress my kids for school.  Nothing fancy, not super nice clothes, but clean, basic, and weather appropriate.  I like for my kids to be super comfortable at school (so elastic waistbands always) because kids will be kids!  I buy lots of short sleeve, long sleeve, shorts, and pant separates at the start of every season in all the colors, and then mix-and-match according to the weather and throw on a hoodie or sweatshirt if it’s cooler.  We do tennies and socks every single day, I keep it simple.

I have found that preschools and elementary schools like to do this thing they call “Pajama Day.”  The kids are supposed to “dress down” in their pajamas for the entire day and sometimes bring in a stuffed animal.  Sometimes it’s the entire school that participates and sometimes the teacher “awards” the class for good behavior with a pajama day.  My son in particular, since he is older now, loves when it is pajama day at school! But he also knows now, after 6 years of school, that we are not doing Pajama Day!

I tried it when he was in Preschool once or twice and my son ended up getting super dirty and the pajamas were ruined.  Not to mention I thought he looked downright silly going to school, and in public, in his pajamas. I also FYI don’t do pajamas out of the house for errands or really going anywhere.  I am fine with sweats or athletic clothes, but something about pajamas seems really strange to me! Pajamas to me, signify that it’s time to go to sleep, and pajamas belong on a person when it’s time to go to bed.  

I know plenty of people have no problem themselves going out in public in pajamas or having their kids wear pajamas to the store and school.  I don’t judge, I promise. But for me, I feel grungy if I wake up in my pajamas and don’t change pretty much right away. And I don’t need to change in to anything formal, like I said nothing wrong with sweats, but I need to get out of the pajamas.  And I want the same for my kids. I feel like they can’t get in to the real spirit of school if they are going to school in their clothes meant for rest and sleep. Anyone else?

I Am Not In to Brunch

I am not a brunch person.  I know...I know...who isn’t a brunch person?  Not me. I don’t know what it is. Theoretically I like the idea of going out with family or friends to a nice Sunday brunch, a leisurely meal with all sorts of pastries, omelettes, hash browns, smoked salmon and bagels, and shrimp cocktail.  But practically speaking it just doesn’t make much sense for me. What even is brunch? By definition (from the Internet), brunch is “a late morning meal eaten instead of breakfast and lunch.” Why would I give up breakfast and lunch for just one meal?

See this is where you’ll see my type A-ness shine.  I (and my family) eat all my meals every day on a pretty regular schedule.  Breakfast before 8am, lunch by noon, and dinner by 5:30pm. Sure we will deviate from that schedule on weekends or vacation but only by 30 minutes, an hour absolute tops.  I have my menu of things we like to eat for each of those meals and they are defined by being “breakfast” “lunch” or “dinner.” Organized I am, flexible, not so much. It just takes the brainwork out of meals, which come every few hours, every.single.day.

Anyhow, my family and I rarely eat out for breakfast because it’s not that easy to get up, dressed, out of the house, and at a restaurant by 8am.  It just doesn’t seem worth that rush. And the crowds, waits, etc. adds on more time and inconvenience for food, that to me, isn’t all that. I love seeing others post on social media about all the nice places and yummy things they eat at brunch, but I don’t really want to replace my breakfast and lunch with a mid-morning meal.  Even if it’s just me meeting friends I don’t get why it can’t be breakfast (before 9am) or just lunch (11am or after). I can’t last long enough in the morning to skip breakfast and if I eat my oatmeal when I get up, I won’t want to eat at 10am. It really boggles my mind when people will do a brunch at 2pm. 2pm?! Now you’ve really stumped me!

Not going to lie, when I get an invitation to go to “brunch” I break in to a little sweat.  Even if it’s just rhetoric and it’s really a breakfast or a lunch, I do a little freak out in my mind because I don’t know what to do with a brunch!  What time, where to eat, what to wear, do I eat before, do I eat after? Suffice it to say, I have issues!

That's a Wrap!

I have a love hate relationship with gift wrap(ping) and gift wrapping supplies.  I love shopping for gifts and giving gifts, that is super fun to me. But choosing how to package them and actually packaging them kind of stresses me out.  I am not very good at it, and I am the type of person who doesn’t care at all what a gift looks like when I receive it, so it’s hard for me to put a lot of time and attention to it.  But whenever I get a gift that is wrapped impeccably I feel bad about myself for doing such a sloppy job when I myself give gifts.

I also kind of think that gift wrapping supplies (gift wrap paper, tissue paper, ribbon, gift bags) are a waste of money. Along with the greeting cards.  I appreciate when someone gives me a gift with really nice gift wrap paper that is so thick and crisp with pretty embellishments and a fancy card, but in the back of my mind I think, gosh this person spent a lot of money on things that will end up in the trash.  It just doesn’t seem necessary to me. Sure, gifts in general are not “necessary” but I guess for me, I would rather spend my money on the actual gift and deliver it in a simple way. That’s not to say that I don’t notice and love the way a beautiful package looks, but I am not sure it’s worth the time and money.  But it is not the actual gift that counts, it’s the thought right? And for some people I am sure they love thinking about how to wrap a gift, what to wrap it with, and spend a lot of time making that gift look so nice, it’s about the love and attention behind it. I guess gift wrapping and cards isn’t my love language! 

Also let’s be real...I do save gift bags, ribbons, and salvageable tissue paper and will use the supplies again to wrap gifts for other people. After having a kid’s birthday party or after the holidays, we end up with so many cute gift bags, ribbons/embellishments, and tissue paper, I just can’t see it all go in to the trash. So I save it all and use it again to package another gift in the future. I figure it gives all those supplies that someone spent time and money on another life!

Say My Name, Say My Name

I don’t know what it is, perhaps because I am normally addressed as “mommy” or “honey” at home or “X’s mommy” or “Mrs.” when I am out, but I find it so refreshing when someone calls me by my first name.  (Also, truth be told, my name is often mispronounced so when someone gets it right it’s also refreshing. haha) When I am having a conversation with someone and they stop and say “You know what Phi…” or “Phi, what do you think?” it catches me a little off guard and gets my attention.  It almost personalizes our conversation more and makes me feel like the person I am speaking with really cares about me and my thoughts and is engaged in our conversation.

A lot of the conversations I have are via text (modern day communication for busy friends and family) where there’s no need to use a person’s name, interactions with my family where they don’t address me as anything or just “mommy”, and with people in the outside world that are either complete strangers or acquaintances.  When someone uses my name it makes me think “Gee...they really know who I am and want to talk to me” and it makes me feel more invested in our conversation.

After realizing how it makes me feel when someone uses my name in a conversation or in passing I have tried to do the same.  I am not sure if other people notice or if it has the same effect on other people as it does on me, but it makes me feel like I am being more “real” and more present in my conversations with people.

Finding What Re-energizes You

I listened to a podcast recently that talked about why so many of us are always tired.  You too? Me too! The most common answer and “solution” to fixing the constant tiredness is to get more sleep.  After all, especially for us moms and dads, we have been lacking uninterrupted sleep for years. Ever notice that even after you get a rare chance to nap or sleep in, you are still tired?  And even with a few full nights of sleep, somehow you are still tired?

I have had this dilemma for quite some time but realized a few years ago that there were different types of tired.  For me, I try to assess if at any given time I am emotionally tired, physically tired, or mentally tired. When I was a new attorney working long hours and always catching up on work, I was mentally exhausted constantly.  When I had time off all I wanted to do was go out to dinner, go to a movie, shop, travel, chat with friends, anything to get my mind off of work. When I started having kids I became less mentally tired and much more emotionally tired during the early days of motherhood (being so unsure of myself and capabilities as a mom, trying to breastfeed and failing, and adjusting to being a mom).  Now that my kids are older and school-age I find that I am mostly physically tired. We are out and about every day playing outside, going to/from activities and sports, I am doing the pickup/drop off for school, getting things prepared for the next day, and all.the.cleanup. I am also aging faster than I care to admit, so my body feels it. I have aches in places I never paid any attention to, and I have paid more attention to stretching and caring for my muscles, because they are asking me to! 

I still need more sleep, for sure.  But I notice that when I stop moving, stop standing, stop running around, just for a few minutes (and if I am lucky for an hour) and I sit down, write an email or a blog entry, watch a show, or even sit down to work on some legal research and writing for work, I feel a renewed sense of energy.  And less tired! I think it’s part of finding the balance and working different “muscles” in the body. A little bit of this and a little bit of that can really make a person feel more balanced.

The Simple Life

Do you ever look back to an earlier stage in your life and think to yourself “things were so much simpler then” and for a second, long for those days? Whether it be your childhood when you were a kid going to school and playing with friends, or when you were a teenager and you spent weekends going to the mall and movies with friends, or when you were in your early 20s and in college maybe doing a little partying and a lot of studying (*wink*), or when you were in the early stages of your career working hard 40 plus hours a week and then spending your money going out with friends and traveling…

I have these moments frequently when I am in knee-deep in the daily life of parenting, married life, and work-from-home-while-kids-run-around life. Sometimes I think about the good ol’ days when things were simpler. And the funny thing is, I realize that all the stages that came before today, were in their own ways, simpler. But when you are in the thick of it, it never seems simple. Life always seems busy, crazy, chaotic, and almost too much to handle but then, it gets more busy, crazy, and chaotic as time goes by. At least in my experience so far.

Do you ever notice people say “enjoy it now” relating to being in college, being a honeymooner, having a small baby, having small children, having school-age children? (Or even said that to someone else yourself)? I assume that this goes on forever no matter where you are in life. It’s hard to “enjoy it now” because, at least for me, I always look to the future. And I want to “work towards” the next stage and I don’t realize that at this very moment life is good and simple, and every day after it will just get a little more complicated and a little bit crazier. It’s not a bad thing, that’s how life rolls. But it changed the way I saw things when I realized that life right here right now is sweet and simple, even if I think it’s nuts; because in a few years I will think back to today and call it “the good ol’ days when things were easy!”

Delayed Response

I don’t know what it is but I have this issue sometimes where my kids will misbehave and if I am distracted or in the middle of something I will let it go or ignore it and then it will creep back up on me and I will explode because I realize how bad it minutes, hours, or even days after-the-fact.

We had this happen recently. A neighbor-friend of mine stopped by to give me something. It was a pleasant surprise. I opened the door and we started chatting, as friends do. My kids took that opportunity to bolt out of the door and start running around outside, barefoot, after they had had baths, and of course without permission. I called them back in to the house a few times but was distracted by wanting to talk to my friend so I didn’t make the effort to go run after them and drag them back home. Finally after a few minutes of them running around, hollering, and ringing my neighbor’s doorbell, I ran after them and basically had to wrangle them back in to the house. I was annoyed more than anything because it was embarrassing to do that in front of my neighbor-friend (she has small children thankfully and seemed understanding, but still) and I had wanted to talk longer but I had to excuse myself to stop them from continuing to run around like wild animals. I got them in the house and gave them a quick scolding. A few minutes later it started brewing. Then when I told my husband about what had happened an hour later I got more heated and upset as I told the story and ended up really getting mad. My husband was upset too, and we ended up grounding the kids to their rooms for the rest of the afternoon. I have no idea if this really worked on the “discipline” end but it made me feel a little bit better. I realize if I had acted on the spot though the impact would’ve been greater. But sometimes in the moment I just don’t “feel it” until it marinates and then it hits me that I am upset and I want to address the kids’ behavior. Also, it may also be that there are only so many things that you can “discipline” in a given day. And if, relatively, it’s not that bad, I won’t choose to go all out about every single little thing.

Soup for the Soul

Lately, for the past few months, I have been on a soup kick.  Once a week I will take inventory of the produce I have leftover and make a big pot of soup in my Instant Pot.  I’ll do brothy soups, hearty soups, stews, some with meat, some without meat, but always with lots of veggies and warm cozy goodness.  We live in sunny SoCal so it is warmer more than it is cooler, but I still like the taste of a bowl of soup with some crusty bread or a sandwich (even crackers will do) for a nice dinner or comforting lunch.  The whole family will eat it, and it’s easy to eat leftovers for lunches afterwards. It’s cheap, it’s easy, and I know that it’s chock-ful of veggies, plus I get to use up what I have. I don’t use recipes most of the time, since I just look at what I have and come up with something.  But here are some of my favorites:

1. Chicken curry with potatoes and yams with rice or baguette

2. Sausage, potato, and kale soup with sourdough toast

3. Chicken noodle soup with chayote and acorn squash

4. Lentil soup with mushrooms and potatoes with cornbread muffins

5. Soba noodle soup with spinach and shrimp tempura

6. Turkey Chili with cornbread

7. French onion soup with a panini 

8. Chicken Pho 

I like fake plants and I cannot lie!

So I have a real love-hate relationship with plants.  I love the look and the idea of real, fresh, green plants.  I see so many people posting their perfect plants on instagram like it’s just so easy!  I have tried, and spent plenty of money and time going to the nursery to get fresh plants, herbs, trees, flowers, succulents, you name it, yearning to have that dream plant-gardener life.  And…I have had to say goodbye to many dried up plants, herbs, trees, flowers, succulents, you name it, time and time again. Sometimes I water them too much, sometimes too little, sometimes I give them too much sun, sometimes I give them too much shade, sometimes bugs eat their leaves, sometimes birds eat their fruits, you name it, it’s happened to my poor plants.  But I persevere. 

Meanwhile, this other part of me, the realist-side, likes fake plants!  I have a good number of fake plants and trees inside my house. I have a fiddle leaf tree, numerous house plants, succulents, and holiday decor flowers (fall daisies and chrysanthemums, Christmas poinsettias, spring tulips, and floral wreaths)...all fake, reuseable, and zero maintenance.  Recently we pulled out all the muddy yellowish brown grass in our backyard and replaced it with astroturf and it’s been so much easier and so much greener!  

I wish that I could keep all of these plants, flowers, grass, and trees alive and thriving, but I have come to terms with my lack of a green thumb.  Some people got it, some people don’t, and I don’t! I will still go through the motions every season and get new plants that I will try to keep alive, but I will not let go of my trusty fake plants.  It gives me the look and feel with no fuss!  

Anyone else out there down with the fake plants?

Why is my outside voice softer than my inside voice?

Lately I have found myself frazzled, short, and frankly frustrated.  My kids are getting older (as kids do) and have really started expressing their opinions and being very assertive, about (what seems like) every little thing.  Meanwhile it feels busier than ever and I am constantly barking orders. We are always moving from one thing to the next and my kids names even sound like commands when they come out of my mouth.  I am constantly reminding both of my kids to do this, to do that, and threatening them all in the same breath. It’s exhausting and gets me really wound up!

To top that all off, I am...a yeller.  Ugh...I really don’t want to admit it, but I am.  Over the years my kids have learned to tune me out.  Either that or they don’t care about the consequences of not listening to me or just don’t care period.  Whatever it is, day after day, I get tired of it and I yell. I used to yell because I thought it would get the kids’ attention, and kind of “snap” them out of their bad behavior.  But lately I yell because I am so frustrated and “over it” that it feels good, cathartic, to yell and get that bad energy out.

The really sad thing about it is that my kids are unaffected by my yelling.  Sometimes I get really mad and yell right at them, and they look at me right in the eye, and try to keep a straight face, but they entirely crack up.  Both of them look at me like I am having a tantrum (which I am) and laugh so hard they basically fall over. It is not funny to me at all and makes me even more mad and I usually storm off because at that point there is nothing left to say.  It’s funny because I think my kids think “oh there’s mom again, she’s in one of her moods” and then they roll their eyes and just bear it. 

This is not the effect I am going for.  I need to work on my anger management but I also need to ease up on the yelling.  It’s just not an effective way of communication. I need to release my frustration without yelling at my kids.  It doesn’t get through to them and it’s not the way I want them to see me. I just get to my boiling point faster these days and yelling is just the fastest reaction, but not the healthiest.  It’s a bad habit I need to break. I want to be a good example for my kids and obviously don’t want to teach them that they should be yelling all the time. It’s just really hard, I will catch myself midway but it just feels really good sometimes to let it out!